Things I learned from video games (No. 2)

It’s frustrating when your princess is in another castle.

Mario is a better man than I. For I still remember the dramatic breakup with my first real girlfriend after I caught her “in another castle.” Now I don’t know if Mario was really into saving Princess Peach or if he was risking his life so he could finally catch up with the princess and give her a piece of his mind. But if I were an overweight plumber with a poor sense of style, I might be willing to forgive my ex-girlfriend if she were a cute princess. But she wasn’t, so I never proceeded to level 2.

Things I learned from video games (No. 1)

Video game characters can get away with wearing green tights, but I can’t.

A lot of video game characters make fashion statements that cannot be mimicked in the real world. For example, Link with his green tights; Mario with his blue overalls, red shirt, red hat and mustache; the Gears of War guys with their massive boots and armour that would prevent them from ever moving, never mind running. To name a few.

And if you ever went outside looking like Master Chief, you’d get laughed at.

Unfortunately, that means I have to return the green tights I bought. Rats.

That being said, there are exceptions.