Things I learned from video games (No. 2)

It’s frustrating when your princess is in another castle.

Mario is a better man than I. For I still remember the dramatic breakup with my first real girlfriend after I caught her “in another castle.” Now I don’t know if Mario was really into saving Princess Peach or if he was risking his life so he could finally catch up with the princess and give her a piece of his mind. But if I were an overweight plumber with a poor sense of style, I might be willing to forgive my ex-girlfriend if she were a cute princess. But she wasn’t, so I never proceeded to level 2.

Are you Canada’s next top gamer?

Despite what your mom says, you can actually get paid for playing video games. I hear North America’s top 12 earn about $250,000 a year.

Once upon a time, I may have stood a spit’s chance in the wind, but now — with my aging eyes and slowing thumbs — I don’t even stand that slim a chance. However, for some there is still hope.

This month you’ll have an opportunity to try out for the Amp Energy Pro Team — Canada’s top-ranked, professional gaming team and the first to be sponsored in Canada.

PSP phone rumours ringing again

I love the idea of a PSP phone. In fact, I love it so much that I’m happy to report THEY’VE DONE IT ALREADY. The slim PSP has Skype capability.

Still, I guess by PSP phone, people are talking about a cellphone similar to the iPhone.

Well, for those who care about THAT kind of phone, here’s the latest rumour.

Marketing Week says the PSP phone could be out by Christmas 2009, among other comments from unnamed sources — the pinnacle of journalism.

The annoying case of the missing cases

EB Games, this rant is for you.

I like the concept of trading and buying used games.

However, I hate when those games don’t have their instruction book. I hate it even more when used games don’t have their instruction booklet or their original case. Sure playing the game is the best part. But I also like displaying my games, and I like reading the instructions (usually while sitting on the toilet… I know, TMI my couch sipping a nice civilized cup of cappuccino).

You can picture my horror stricken face while browsing used PSP games in one of the Ottawa EB Games stores today, and seeing about half of the used games don’t have cases or instructions. That’s not even the worst part. I find it downright silly that the store doesn’t give a discount for games that are in the cheesy EB Games makeshift cases. I mean used games are usually only about $5 cheaper anyways, so if the game is missing its aesthetic appeal, why buy it for the minimal discount?

I can’t imagine EB Games pays people the full trade-in value for games without instructions or cases — I wouldn’t know because I always take care of my cases and instructions — so why sell them for full price?

Just seems like a rip off.

Oh, and as a postscript and disclaimer, I have had issues with EB Games in the past.

Neighbourly love in the key of G(aming)

I just spent a good chunk of the night playing Rock Band and Guitar Hero with my next door neighbour.

First, I went over to his place and played drums (shameless plug: I’m pretty dang good on the drums at exaggerating ). We played on his PS3, which I still say is inferior to the 360 because the frame rate is so slow that the notes are actually shaky as they approach — making hitting the drums even tougher to time. If you’re reading this neighbour, I’m sorry . . . but it’s still true.

Then we came over to my place and played Guitar Hero: Legends of Rock for a while. He’s super good at guitar. Maybe I should recruit him to help me get the Rock Band world tour achievements that I still need.

But the thing that struck me is we hardly ever hang out. We’ve played catch and we’ve played golf. Still, what really connected us was the gaming — in particular Rock Band. He calls it a great family game because they all play together. I agree. My wife and I play together.

The music games are such good social connectors. They do video gaming a real service, helping to debunk the prevalent myth that gamers hang out in their (mother’s) basement by themselves all day and button mash.

Sweet deal

I love Fridays; it’s the day the Best Buy and Future Shop flyers land in my mailbox.

Tomorrow (June 22) Guitar Hero: On Tour for the Nintendo DS hits shelves. The game sells for 49.99 at Best Buy. The store’s also bundling the DS with Guitar Hero for $179.99.

Also (it’s a big week for Guitar Hero fans), Guitar Hero: Aerosmith’s release date is June 29. Future Shop is selling it for the suggested retails price of $99.99. I doubt you’ll find it any cheaper for a while. But if you do, let me know.

As a result of this new game eating store space, Future Shop is trying to create an exodus of Guitar Hero: Legends of Rock by slashing the guitar-game bundle down to $69.99. That’s a sweet deal. The Guitar Hero guitar for this game is awesome, and well worth it.

Things I learned from video games (No. 1)

Video game characters can get away with wearing green tights, but I can’t.

A lot of video game characters make fashion statements that cannot be mimicked in the real world. For example, Link with his green tights; Mario with his blue overalls, red shirt, red hat and mustache; the Gears of War guys with their massive boots and armour that would prevent them from ever moving, never mind running. To name a few.

And if you ever went outside looking like Master Chief, you’d get laughed at.

Unfortunately, that means I have to return the green tights I bought. Rats.

That being said, there are exceptions.

PSP’s God of War is high-gloss fun

When you’re used to watching cartoon Yoshi bounce around the DS screen, you sometimes forget hand-held devices can produce life-like images. That was the case for me with the PSP.

Playing God of War: Chains of Olympus for the first time was like watching Planet Earth on a 42-inch high definition plasma TV in a dark room after watching it on a 26-inch tube TV’s grainy screen in broad daylight. I was stunned. I think I drooled a little on the screen.

I am Legend… not.

OK I admit it: I originally missed the Zelda bus because I was too busy trying to save the princess from Bowser’s grasp.

I never beat the original Zelda. There, I’ve confessed.

I finally caught up to the joy of being Link when Nintendo released Link to the Past on the Super NES, and it’s been an on-again, off-again relationship ever since. I liked Majora’s Mask and the Ocarina of Time. I hated the Wind Waker. I loved the Phantom Hourglass for the Nintendo DS. I never bothered to ever try Twilight Princess.

Still, lately I’ve been haunted by the fact that I’ve never beat the Legend of Zelda. It just so happens that I have a copy for the Gamecube. So in the name of retaining the geek mantle, I’ve challenged myself to beat it.

Track my successes (<– that’s such a weird looking word) and failures in the ‘Zelda’ tab on the home page.

Man, my gamerscore’s going to suffer for this.

Hot off the press

Check out Toronto Thumbs for this week’s offering. I delve into the schizophrenic world of trying to figure out what kind of gamer I am. I just don’t know who I am anymore.